Are You Sensitive About Stress and Anxiety Disorders in Children? - Part 3

It is quite common for us adults to forget or even ignore the presence of children in the vicinity and consciously control what we say, how we act and generally speaking, how we carry ourselves. Children are excellent observers and the best imitators that can be. Whether you like it or not, children will pick up cues from how they see adults carry themselves and mould their own behavior accordingly. The foundation for our character today has roots to our childhood days. Character begins at home and that is something that we adults often tend to simply push to the side in the company of children.

Effect of Domestic Tension on Children

We all have trying moments in life that challenge our beliefs, test our patience and perseverance and holds our minds to ransom while taking life changing decisions for the family. A simple mismatch of opinions between parents in the presence of a child can subject them to stress. It may not be always possible to notice that the child is present before the argument begins, but it is important to take corrective action as soon as either parent notices that the child is present. The corrective action may be as simple as some sort of a warning signal to the other spouse about the child's presence. Such warnings must be listened to and the discussion should either stop or be postponed for a later time when the child is not around.

You see, children are inquisitive little angels and voracious learners. At the same time, like all human beings, they are usually resistant to change. If there is a change, they need an explanation. Without the explanation, their minds try to figure out what the change is all about and how it affects them. So if they are not used to watch quarreling parents in action, the fear of the unknown and uncharted waters grips their mind and that leads to stress. Stress in turn sends their delicate physiological and psychological health into an overdrive situation, which in turn can turn out to be the cause for childhood anxiety and childhood depression. Children growing up in families where parents and adults regularly engage in open and unrestricted heated (or even animated) conversations are known to develop stress related disorders in early childhood, which becomes a challenge to remedy later on in life. Children growing up in such environments are also known to develop an aggressive and self-centered attitude in life.

Domestic Violence

The perils of heated and animated conversation between parents and adults in the household score a new high when they turn into domestic violence in the presence or even the absence of children. It is evident that domestic violence inflicted on an adult in the presence of a child will impose severe stress on her mind. It is also evident how domestic violence on the child himself or herself could simply traumatize the young mind. But how does such turmoil in the absence of the child affect her mind?

Well, domestic violence most often than not will leave behind physical signs of distress that may be difficult to hide. A bruised lip, a black eye, broken bones that "just happened to develop out of the blue" is not an easy thing to lie about even for a rational adult. This is primarily because the victim of domestic violence is going through a stressful situation already. It takes more than Hollywood style acting skills to cover all of that grief-laden emotion up and concoct an explanation for a child when the obvious question is posed at a later time.

Children are also very good lie detectors - you may be lucky a few times to squeeze past the reasoning of the child's brain, but repetitive occurrence of domestic violence presents a pattern to the child. The mind will try to connect the events in the past and the doctored stories that were offered as explanation and will eventually determine the truth all by itself. Sounds unbelievable? It's just a matter of time when the child just figures out what's been going on in his absence and more often than not, the picture that emerges in his mind is not too far from the truth.

So as adults, we must be very careful about how we carry ourselves when we have children in our daily lives. We have a moral responsibility towards our children to provide a psychologically healthy environment to grow up and it takes a lot of sacrifice and rational thinking on our part on how we must "behave".

Center of Column

Dating As a Single Father - Put Your Children First

"If you follow your heart, you're a romantic; if you follow your mind, you're an intellectual; if you follow your ex partner, you're a stalker," - Rhonda Breed.

There will come a time when moving on becomes a possibility. Some fathers may find themselves interested in dating fairly quickly. Others will put it off until everyone they know is trying to set them up. Circumstances can vary greatly depending on what all was involved in the separation or divorce. Every father needs to follow their instincts as far as considering a relationship with a new woman.

So, the moment has arrived and dating is back on the agenda. One large difference compared to dating as a single man is that there are others to consider this time around. Children are a parent's number one priority. It may not be necessary to introduce them to every person you chose to date. If things should not work out with a woman after a short dating period, kids are probably better off not having formed any attachments. Reflect on how serious the relationship is likely to become before subjecting everyone to meeting.

There are several issues to consider when jumping back into the dating scene. One critical issue to consider is what qualities to look for. Not all women are created equal. Take the time to think about what kind of person you are willing to invite into your world. A fun loving woman who is fairly laid back and flexible may be easier to deal with than a more high maintenance one. Another item to ponder carefully is whether of not your children are ready to see you with a different woman. Talk to them before you introduce them. Reactions may vary widely depending on the age of your children and their individual personalities. Younger kids may have a tougher time because they do not want Mom to be replaced. Older kids may be more understanding. Of course, there is always the teenage angst that is impossible to predict!

Timing can make all the difference. It is important to find a place where everyone can feel comfortable. Naturally, there is bound to be some nervousness and tension. Let your children set the pace. They should feel free to ask question as should your date. Also carefully consider timing if you are actively involved in a custody dispute. Be sure that dating and inviting a new person into the situation will have a positive consequence.

Good communication with the new woman in your life will also make a big impact. She should be ready to meet the kids. She should have an opportunity to ask you questions about any concerns she may have. She should also be aware of your concerns. Hopefully, she will be someone who likes children! If she is not, then keep looking. Be cautious of a woman that does not like children and admits it while you are dating. Once the romance wears off, you could have an evil stepmother that hates children. It will drive a wedge between you and your children that could last a lifetime. It is almost always a bad sign for a single father. Never let a love interest take precedence over your children. If your new love cannot peacefully coexist with your children, then she is likely not the best person for you. You should look for a woman that is loving and caring towards you and your children.

These are just a few of the areas to reflect on when becoming a member of the dating world. As a single father, there are many more responsibilities to keep in mind when searching for a worthwhile companion. Take your time and hopefully dating can be an enjoyable part of your life.

Civil Engineering Overview ?????????????????�?????????????????? ????????? ??�?????? ?????????????????????