"If you follow your heart, you're a romantic; if you follow your mind, you're an intellectual; if you follow your ex partner, you're a stalker," - Rhonda Breed.
There will come a time when moving on becomes a possibility. Some fathers may find themselves interested in dating fairly quickly. Others will put it off until everyone they know is trying to set them up. Circumstances can vary greatly depending on what all was involved in the separation or divorce. Every father needs to follow their instincts as far as considering a relationship with a new woman.
So, the moment has arrived and dating is back on the agenda. One large difference compared to dating as a single man is that there are others to consider this time around. Children are a parent's number one priority. It may not be necessary to introduce them to every person you chose to date. If things should not work out with a woman after a short dating period, kids are probably better off not having formed any attachments. Reflect on how serious the relationship is likely to become before subjecting everyone to meeting.
There are several issues to consider when jumping back into the dating scene. One critical issue to consider is what qualities to look for. Not all women are created equal. Take the time to think about what kind of person you are willing to invite into your world. A fun loving woman who is fairly laid back and flexible may be easier to deal with than a more high maintenance one. Another item to ponder carefully is whether of not your children are ready to see you with a different woman. Talk to them before you introduce them. Reactions may vary widely depending on the age of your children and their individual personalities. Younger kids may have a tougher time because they do not want Mom to be replaced. Older kids may be more understanding. Of course, there is always the teenage angst that is impossible to predict!
Timing can make all the difference. It is important to find a place where everyone can feel comfortable. Naturally, there is bound to be some nervousness and tension. Let your children set the pace. They should feel free to ask question as should your date. Also carefully consider timing if you are actively involved in a custody dispute. Be sure that dating and inviting a new person into the situation will have a positive consequence.
Good communication with the new woman in your life will also make a big impact. She should be ready to meet the kids. She should have an opportunity to ask you questions about any concerns she may have. She should also be aware of your concerns. Hopefully, she will be someone who likes children! If she is not, then keep looking. Be cautious of a woman that does not like children and admits it while you are dating. Once the romance wears off, you could have an evil stepmother that hates children. It will drive a wedge between you and your children that could last a lifetime. It is almost always a bad sign for a single father. Never let a love interest take precedence over your children. If your new love cannot peacefully coexist with your children, then she is likely not the best person for you. You should look for a woman that is loving and caring towards you and your children.
These are just a few of the areas to reflect on when becoming a member of the dating world. As a single father, there are many more responsibilities to keep in mind when searching for a worthwhile companion. Take your time and hopefully dating can be an enjoyable part of your life.
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